How Best Buy and Microsoft Were Able To Get An Extra $60 Out of Me, or, Halo 3
Grr.
Maybe you've heard that the Collector's Edition of Halo 3 has had some major packaging issues. I do believe that "scratching discs all to hell" would be considered a major flaw.
Of course, when I went to pick up my Collector's Edition of Halo 3, I thought, "It could never happen to me. I'm just gonna ride my Segway over there, pick up my game, and get home, and play."
After waiting in line for fifteen minutes, I was finally able to get my copy. Rejoice!
I went outside of the store, and just before I hopped on my Segway, I thought, "I'll check to just make sure that this thing isn't all scratched up."
Well, not only was my Halo 3 disc in a state similar to a cat owner's couch, but the tin case was all dented and banged up too! So I went inside to get it exchanged.
After waiting another fifteen minutes in line, I wind up with the same girl at the customer service counter that checked me out before. I explained to her what happened, and she said that there was another gentleman who went through 3 copies that were all scratched up. So, together, she and I went through their box of Halo 3 Collector's Editions, gently shaking each one to see if the disc inside was loose or not.
Every single one inside of the box had a free floating disc. On top of that, about 60% of the tin cases looked like they had been thrown out of an airplane then run over by a car.
"What do we do now?" I asked.
"I'm not sure sir."
*Dreading what I was about to do* "Do you have any Legendary Editions [read: Cat Helmet Editions] that aren't preordered?"
"We have a single extra, a gentleman this morning decided he didn't want it."
*sigh* "Give me one of those..."
So she rings me up, I pay an extra $60, and ask for a bag, since this thing is huge and I'm going to be riding my Segway home.
"I'm sorry sir, we don't have any bags that can fit something of this size."
*pause* "You don't understand, I don't have a car. I'm going home on a scooter-type thing."
"I guess it's not your lucky day. I'm really sorry but there's nothing I can do."
So, I had to ride my Segway home carrying this bigass box under my arm. By the time I was home, my arm and shoulder burned with the fire of a thousand suns. But, what else could I have done? It's amazing what I can tolerate if I simply have no other choice.
We now come to the visual part of our presentation. The following pictures were taken on my iPhone, which actually has an excellent camera. Unfortunately, the light wasn't that great, even after opening my window shades, so they're a little blurry.
This is what I carried under my arm. You might not be able to tell how big it is, so this next picture should put things in perspective.
The Futurama box on top is the size of what I intended to purchase, had it not been the most poorly designed piece of packaging ever. You can see how THAT would have been convenient to put in my bag, seen here:
but instead I have to have something about 100 times larger.
This is what it looks like after I've removed the box's sleeve (or, as I like to call it, the husk.) It's a pretty picture. The beam goes up to the top of the box where you see this:
Okay, time to crack it open.
These are the appropriately designed DVD cases. The case on the left contains the Halo 3 video game. The case on the right contains 2 discs of documentaries, behind the scenes information, and other stuff that I just eat right up because I am a huge nerd. These bonus features are what I really, really wanted, and was why I was willing to buy this stupid expensive box set over a plain vanilla copy of Halo 3, which has just the game. I believe that this Legendary Edition does have one or two exclusive bonus features that I wouldn't have gotten in the Collector's Edition, so I'm pleased about that.
After removing the plastic tray that holds these two things, you get to what makes up the bulk of your purchase. This is what you see:
What you are looking at here is the patented Halo 3 Cat Helmet Protective Cover. I took it off and used it to play medieval executioner:
Once you've peeled THIS husk off, you can see the emerald Cat Helmet. It was here that I realized that the term "Cat Helmet" was not appropriate, because if your cat has a head this large, she has problems. This fucker is bigger than I expected, and yet, far too small to actually be placed on your head. It really makes you feel like the world is a mediocre place.
Some other shots.
And this, this is my wallet. What you can't see is that right after I took this shot, he started crying.
Anyway, after all of this, I hope that your Halo 3 experience goes a little more smoothly than mine. I can't say I'm terribly upset; I did get something that ordinarily you could only get if you preordered, but it seemed like a lot of unpleasantness to go through.
As for the GAME itself. First things first: it looks stunning. That's all that needs to be said on that count. Gameplay, I like what they've done with the various items you can use, like deployable shields, cloaking devices, gravity lifts (so awesome to use it in a low ceilinged room, pinning yourself to the ceiling in ambush) and the like. The game feels harder to me than the last two, but at the same time, it has never felt cheap. Whenever I die, which is a lot, even on normal difficulty, I always feel that if I just use the correct tactics I will be victorious. I like the new vehicle I've gotten to play with, an alien thing called a Chopper. It has two big wheels on the front, and your seat has a hoverpad underneath it. You drive it like you would a motorcycle. Pretty fun. I've also seen a new warthog, one without the gun on the back. Instead, it's a passenger Warthog, able to seat several more men, all of whom can shoot. Keep in mind, I've seen all these cool things in the first hour and a half or so of gamplay, so I'm sure I'll get to see more.
I can't wait to check out the multiplayer; it promises to be the best that Xbox Live can offer. If it is as good as Shadowrun, in my opinion the finest first person shooter multiplayer experience on the console, I'll be a happy man. If it's better than that, well, it'll be awesome.
I'm gonna get back to playing!
posted by Chris @ 3:07 PM
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